Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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