she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
