I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
