How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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