apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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