laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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