How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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