At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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