This girl is more easily done than said...
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
