How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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