I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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