god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
