Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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