Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
