i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
