You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
