i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
