Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
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when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She bit a glass in half.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
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I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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