after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
