I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
