It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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