I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
