Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
