My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
