lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize