I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So many bounce houses so little time
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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