i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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