They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize