How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
