did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
