Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
