If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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