I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize