Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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