If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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