I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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