His pubic hair was longer than his dick
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
