Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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