Your face is a jimmy john
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
