Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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