You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
