i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
