If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
