He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
