we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
