you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
