if you like me you must not know who I am
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
