girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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