Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
