Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
