fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize