this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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