i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Its about making memories worth repressing
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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