bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
