bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
