Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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