Non-Jews are for practice
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
