I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
