This is not my ceiling
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You did what with his pubic hair?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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