My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
