Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
