Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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