i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
