Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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